The Empowering Supercharged Timber Throne Greeting Card

Hey there, struggling wordsmith! Stuck in a quagmire of mundane greetings? Fear not, for our Timber Throne is here to rescue you from greeting card mediocrity with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of pizzazz!

If a person didn't receive a greeting card with a wooden chair on the front of it, they might forget to reserve a seat for their favorite TV show binge-watching marathon, leading to a comically chaotic scramble for the best spot in the living room.

Crafted from sturdy 14.77 oz/yd² paperboard, this card isn't just paper—it's your ticket to greeting greatness!

Featuring prints so vibrant, they could make a rainbow blush, each card practically sings with color and personality.

And don't forget the envelope—because even superheroes need a sidekick. It's included, free of charge!

Available in sizes to suit every occasion:

• Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm), light enough to fly on a gentle breeze at just 0.39 oz (11 g).
• Medium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm), perfectly balanced at 0.6 oz (17 g), like a tightrope walker in a circus of emotions.
• Large: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm), a sturdy 0.85 oz (24 g), ready to deliver your message with the force of a gentle bear hug.

Why settle for a yawn when you can send a chuckle? Embrace the Timber Throne—it's not just a card; it's a comedy show in an envelope. Order yours today and start spreading laughter with every heartfelt card!

[Disclaimer: Timber Throne does not actually seat you; please do not attempt to sit on your greeting card.]